Happy Valentines to all my single ladies :)
Being single can be fun (all the single ladies put your hands up in Beyoncé's voice) but also a nightmare (unsuccessful dates, pressure of society, jealous married friends with ''concerned'' advices on how to live your life when in reality they know their game is over, and so on.)
Being single can be easy but its not always. That is the reason why many people prefer to jump from one relationship to another or sometimes even suffer for years, only because of the fear of change, fear of instant loneliness. There are people who can't even stay alone for few hours and constantly seek company of others. Can you imagine this person being single for 5 or 10 years? Being single takes courage.
Yet there are people who will make you feel bad about living solo, because they are the ones in „better position“. If you take it as being single is being sick, and the other person in relationship is healthy, and it is by society's norms perceived that healthy is right and sick is not. Why would a healthy person (person in relationship) look down or even make fun of sick person (single person)? Think about that. From my own observation, everyone who is making fun of you, or telling you to lower down your standards and you name it, is basically jealous of your freedom and simply reflecting their fears onto you. Do yourself a favor and don't listen to anyone who is not making you feel good about yourself and who is not supporting your well-being.
Being single by choice is completely fine. I believe it is way better and mainly healthier to be alone than in relationship only for the sake of it. Or because “I should” or “I will never leave her because she would never cheat like I do” or “at least he is rich”. Take a look around. How many couples are really happy? How many people around you are truly in love? And with how many would you swap? If you desire a real love, not some whatever goes, open relationship or even toxic thing, then it is your choice and it is absolutely fine. Holding onto certain expectations no matter how high they are according to others who actually don't even know what expectations you have, is also fine. Don't ever try to seek what is wrong with you or overthink why you are still single and so on. We all have different times when we meet the right one. And even if we are not meant to experience happily ever after, isn't it better to just learn how to love yourself and enjoy your own company? I think it is. Enjoying being single and live a happy life while being alone is a necessity. We all deserve happiness and love, no matter what the circumstances.
Some women are looking for people to love, ending up showing love to people who don't appreciate it instead of loving themselves. Spend this Valentines with person you should firstly love the most – yourself. Try to enjoy being alone, with your own company and show yourself the wonderful love you carry within. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha
Take yourself out for a walk to breathe some fresh air, for a coffee or even a glass of wine (or two) with your favorite or new book. Put the radio on and dance. Paint. Take a nap. Buy yourself a gift. Do anything what makes you happy. Enjoy a bubble bath or get your girls together and go dancing. Have fun and do whatever that brings you peace or joy, or both :) (you can watch my own celebration on my personal Instagram account @_wandrea_ :)
Be happy with yourself, where you are in life at this very moment and try to embrace it. Be grateful for what you already have, for being alive, for being a woman (phenomenally) and have a faith in what is coming to you.
I leave you with words from Meghan Markle:
“I think you need to be your own Valentine. I think you need to cook that beautiful dinner even when it’s just you, wear your favorite outfit, buy yourself some flowers, and celebrate the self-love that often gets muddled when we focus on what we don’t have. Be good to yourself. Love yourself, treat yourself, honor yourself and celebrate you. Be your own beautiful, darling, cherished and funny Valentine. You deserve it.''